Wise Words of Wisdom

Author unknown

If you want to fly and move on to better things, you have to give up the things that weigh you down, which is not always as obvious and easy as it sounds. Starting today, give up… 

-Letting the opinions of others control your life. People know your name, not your story. They’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through. So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt. In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts. Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

-The shame of past failures. You will fail sometimes, and that’s okay. The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. Your past does not equal your future. Just because you failed yesterday, or all day today, or a moment ago, or for the last six months, or for the last sixteen years, doesn’t have any impact on the current moment. All that matters is what you do right now.

-Being indecisive about what you want. You will never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be. It’s all about finding and pursuing your passion. Neglecting passion blocks creative flow. When you’re passionate, you’re energized. Likewise, when you lack passion, your energy is low and unproductive. Energy is everything when it comes to being successful. Make a decision to figure out what you want, and then pursue it passionately.

-Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. Follow your intuition. Don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. When there is love and inspiration, you can’t go wrong. And whatever it is you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows. Trust me, in a year from now, you will wish you had started today.


-Choosing to do nothing. You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when. You can only decide how you are going to live, right now. Every day is a new chance to choose. Choose to change your perspective. Choose to flip the switch in your mind from negative to positive. Choose to turn on the light and stop fretting about with insecurity and doubt. Choose to do work that you are proud of. Choose to see the best in others, and to show your best to others. Choose to truly LIVE, right now.


-Your need to be right. If you keep on saying you’re right, even if you are right now, eventually you will be wrong. Aim for success, but never give up your right to be wrong. Because when you do, you will also lose your ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.

-Running from problems that should be fixed. We make life harder than it has to be. The difficulties started when conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word ‘love’ fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution. Stop running! Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.

-Making excuses rather than decisions. Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving. A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it. Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.

-Overlooking the positive points in your life. What you see often depends entirely on what you’re looking for. Do your best and surrender the rest. When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have. You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life right now.

-Not appreciating the present moment. We do not remember days, we remember moments. Too often we try to accomplish something big without realizing that the greatest part of life is made up of the little things. Live authentically and cherish each precious moment of your journey. Because when you finally arrive at your desired destination, I guarantee you, another journey will begin! ♥

Adoption Musings

One topic in adoption that I haven't written about here is the Post Adoption Contact Agreement.  This is a legal document that spells out the expectations for letters, phone calls, and visits.  In our home state, PACA's  exist, but they do not exist in the state where LX was born.  Since that is the case, we do not have one.  At first I thought it was bad not to have one, but in hindsight, I like it better.  Not having one allows the relationship to take its natural course, whatever that may be.

Do we have a verbal agreement with LX's birth mom?  YES!  Will we live up to it?  YES!  We will because we believe it is important for him to know where he came from and to know that he was placed with us out of love.  We agreed to two visits each year and we email monthly updates on his month birthdays.  One aspect I like about our relationship with LX's birth mom is that is comfortable.  We are in touch via email weekly.  She shares with us what is happening in her life, such as getting into college and her first job.  We ask her questions and tell her some of the cool things that LX is doing.  She feels like a member of the family, much like a favorite cousin who you love dearly even though you don't see them often  I think people may have a tough time understanding our relationship, but to us, it feels perfectly natural to have a hybrid relationship with someone who is much younger than we are.  In fact, sometimes I do not even connect her with LX.  That may sound crazy because I know she is his birth mom and I am grateful that she chose life and us for LX, but I like her independent of that fact.  Which brings me to...

Yesterday, Dave, LX and I had a visit with LX's birth family.  :-)  We hadn't seen LX's birth mom since we were cleared  for ICPC on September 15, so we were all looking forward to the reunion.  We met up for ice cream half way between our homes.  She brought her mom, her best friend, and her boyfriend.  We just sat back in awe of this second family that we have, and we were so happy to see how much they love LX.  His birth mom brought him two stuffed animals and an Easter basket!  How thoughtful is that?  Even though she isn't ready to be a mom, she sure does love our son.  They must have taken 100 pictures as we shared stories of LX's latest milestones.  He actually cut his first tooth that day.  His birth mom was the first one to feel it, and for some reason it felt just right.  Dave and I have a whole life of firsts to experience with him so it was nice that she got one as well.

Open adoption isn't for everyone, but it is working for us.  I think many people fear open adoption or think it is co-parenting, which it is NOT.  Unfortunately, Lifetime movies have given adoption and especially birth parents a bad rap.  Believe it or not, an open adoption alleviates fears on both sides  With it, we all know that we are all doing OK.  We will never forget the gratitude that is owed to this young woman, and we want LX to know that we love all parts of him.  He is and will continue to be a beautiful mix of all of us.

Gluten-Free Baked Oatmeal Casserole

Gluten-Free Baked Oatmeal Casserole
Total Time: 50 minutes
Serves: 6

Ingredients
2 cups gluten-free rolled oats
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup walnut pieces
1 cup raspberries {any berries work}
1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
2 cups milk
1 large egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 ripe banana, peeled, 1/2-inch slices

Preheat oven to 375°F and generously spray the inside of a 10-1/2 by 7 inch baking dish with cooking spray and place on a baking sheet.

In a large bowl, mix together the oats, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, salt, half the walnuts, half the strawberries and half the chocolate. (Save the other half of strawberries, walnuts and chocolate for the top of the oatmeal).
In another large bowl, whisk together the milk, egg, butter and vanilla extract.

Add the oat mixture to prepared baking dish. Arrange the remaining strawberries, walnuts and chocolate on top. Add the banana slices to the top then pour the milk mixture over everything. Gently shake the baking dish to help the milk mixture go throughout the oats.
Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until the top is nicely golden brown and the milk mixture has set. For an extra tasty top, sprinkle a tablespoon or so of extra brown sugar.

Life Update

It has been a while since I've written so here is what we have been up to:

We started our own SAT prep classes a few weeks ago.  This has been a dream of ours for a few years, and we finally did it this year.  The timing was perfect with me being home to do all of the leg work, and we need the extra income since I am not working.  The downside is that  most of Dave's free time on the weekend is either prepping his lessons or teaching the classes.  It is only an 8 week class so the madness is short-lived, but it is zany.  If you don't know Dave, he is he most dedicated teacher I know.  He is giving 150% at school and at our SAT classes.  He is understandably exhausted and not home much.

So what are LX and I doing in all of our free time?  Sadly, not a whole lot.  The weather this time of year makes it impossible to get our walks in.  We did join a Mom and Baby Group.  While most of the activities are for older babies, we go to as many events as we can just to get out and meet people.  We went to Barnes and Noble last week to play with trains and we went to the children's room at our library today.  I had never been to the children's room, but LX loved it and we will be going back.

In other news, we still do not have a finalization date.  This is so frustrating because our lawyer thought we would be finalized by the end of February "at the latest."  I know it is a formality, but we want to have him as our son in every single way.  As you  know, patience is not my strong suit and I am so ready for that day to come.  It will be so wonderful to be a forever family in the eyes of the law.  It is funny how many people we know who assume that once TPR is signed, all is done.  They can't believe that our adoption isn't a done deal yet.  The good news is that it is a much better limbo to be in than waiting for TPR!

This reminds me of the sermon at church this week:  the preacher was talking about prayers being answered.  As I sat there with LX, it took everything in me to not stand up and introduce him as an answered prayer.  Heck, he was the answer to a million prayers.  She was saying how God answers prayers in 3 ways: yes, no, and not yet/not in the way you think.  She stressed how difficult it is when you are given the not yet answer, but how much growth happens in times like those.  I agree wholeheartedly   At least with LX, it seems that all those months we waited were just preparing us.  Our hearts were getting ready to be stretched beyond recognition, not just for LX, but for his birth parents and their families.  We have learned what it means to be truly grateful.  There have only been a few times since becoming a mom where I have felt frustrated with LX.  I always stop and remind myself that I begged for this.  Every day.  The worst day with LX is better than the best day before him.  It is pretty amazing what one little soul can do to a life.